Anybody compare their selves to other people? Like a lot? I wish I could say I didn’t but half the time I don’t even realize that I’m doing it. I’ll tell you now…I have not won complete victory over this one but I’m working on it..and will not stop until I do. Comparing is very common these days since we have SO MUCH access to other peoples lives nowadays. We have so many social media apps so we can see what every person is doing ALL the time…and if we’re not careful…seeing what other people are doing…ends up crossing over to a dangerous place where we compare our lives to theirs…deciding if our life is worthy enough as the next person.
I’m writing this blog for myself mainly, as well to anybody who feels my struggle. I’m flat out tired of it to be honest. I’m tired of doing it to myself because it does ABSOLUTELY nothing but bring me misery at the end of the day.
Here is how my comparing usually goes, I see someone pretty(immediately think she’s prettier than me) and wish I had her face structure or her eyes…whatever it is…and start to compare it to my face structure or eyes and start to hate my own self in the process. This thought process happens in a matter of seconds before I’ve even realized that I’ve done it. The only thing I do realize is I hate myself and don’t even know why. I’m unaware that I’ve just caused my own pain. Another way I compare is I see someone with a nice car or nice house and immediately compare their journey to mine, trying to figure out where did I go wrong in my life all because I don’t have what they have. Or I see somebody on Facebook who’s on vacation with their family posting pictures, looking like their having a great time and wonder why my family never looks that happy. You get my point, the cycle is HORRIBLE! The destruction to my own self is horrible.
Like everything else in our lives, we have to start with the root cause of “why” we start comparing in the first place. Well first of all it’s human nature to look to others to measure our own success. The problem isn’t that we look to others for inspiration, the problem arises when we try to duplicate someone else’s life. We immediately forget that we are not the same. Yes we are both humans, everything else is made up differently. So how do we stop this self destruction?
LOVE YOURSELF-I’ll be honest, I’m still working on this. We can’t ever have victory if we don’t master this! I’m stuck with me. Regardless if I like it or not, wishing does nothing. I have to start loving myself, flaws and all. That’s the flat out truth. One exercise I do is for every one bad thought I have about myself, I replace it with two positive thoughts. Loving yourself is a process that takes time but cannot be ignored.
KNOW WHO YOU ARE-There are so many different influences and voices in today’s society. If we do not have a strong sense of identity and worth, society will decide for us. We have to ask ourselves, why do we want this, and why are we pursuing it. If you don’t know who you are, it’s time to ask yourself “What do i value?” “What are my beliefs?” “What do I want?”
GRATITUDE-If we don’t have any of this…then we will definitely compare EVERYTHING about our life to someone else’s. I like to take some time to look at my life and realize how blessed I am…even just the smallest things. There is absolutely ALWAYS something to be grateful for.
TOO MUCH SOCIAL MEDIA?
Social media came along to help us keep in touch with loved ones and friends for long distance reasons as well as to just share your life with other people. If you notice though, we barely are showing the “raw unclean version” of our lives. It’s mainly showing people the “ideal” life that we want to portray. The “pretty” version of our lives. We don’t see the ugly everyday life part of things…the daily struggle or the effort and commitment it took someone to get to the prize…we just see the prize.
Something that really helps me to stop comparing is TAKING A BREAK FROM SOCIAL MEDIA!!!! Yep i said it! Get off of it! Take a week..take a month..IT IS OKAY to take a break from social media. It’s okay to prioritize yourself. We need to prioritize ourselves! Social media will be there when you return.
Let’s decide right now, that we are no longer going to compare ourselves to anybody else. And when we do(which we will) lets become aware of our thoughts so we can avoid them.
At the end of the day…we only have our own life. Let’s start investing in it! Let us have victory in truly knowing who we are…and not falling victim to what society tries to tell us who we should be.